Expectations in relationships between different people is a touchy subject that inspires two opposing views. There are those that believe that expectations are the pinnacle to progress while others believe that expectations are what undermines happiness in relationships.

There are people who believe that a lack of expectation is allowing themselves and the other to stagnate. Expectations are something that can push someone to be a better version of themselves and improve relationships. This can work out sometimes but for most cases it backfires.

The other opinion on expectations shows that one who has expectations of another is setting themselves up for disappointment. People are not flawless and things can happen that can break the standard we set for other people. One who doesn’t have expectations of others can be much more effective in influencing them and keeping up the spirits when others do not meet the pre-conceived notions they have about them.

Expectations can make or break a relationship. In case they are leading to negative results, here are some words of thought about ways to alleviate expectations.

1. Being Open To Other’s Reactions Instead of Expecting

Understanding that other people’s reactions are often based on experiences that are uniquely their own, and being open to their reactions differing from expectations allows them the space to be themselves and saves the other the disappointment that can does not have to be experienced. This is also being true to oneself and not ruining one’s own sense of esteem and wellbeing for the sake of another.

2. Building Confidence in Own Thoughts and Beliefs

The only thing that can be controlled is one’s own thoughts and beliefs. It is difficult or impossible to change the ways others are behaving and reacting. The only thing that gives one a true sense of power and stability is the knowledge that thoughts and beliefs can be bent in order to improve the reaction towards the unexpected behaviors of others.

3. Being Present in the Now

Expectations can be tracked when one is present in the now and observing their reactions to others. Disappointment can only occur outside the now. Thoughts about what should have been done are not being grounded. Expecting other people to react with love, kindness, and honesty does not always work out, but what works out every time is taking responsibility for one’s own happiness.